Steps...

I seem to have hit this sombre and sad time.

I had a birthday last week and for the first time in my twenty nine years I did not feel like a fuss. I would have happily let it slide by. Not because it does not matter, not because I do not feel thankful for this life, but because I felt full.
Full of life's mystery and hard surprises.
Things I have only ever known for my twenty nine years of life have changed.
No mending.
An end...
Some days I have resolve.
Other days doubt, sometimes sadness and other times understanding.
But whatever it is it is different.

The thing I coach my children to not fear.
Change....
A healthy part of life.
Yet here I am facing it and I fear the difference it provides.
One step so hard,
followed by two steps of positivity,
followed by three steps of strength and back to one step again.

Change is only hard and scary for as long as I resist that it is the 'new' I guess.

xxxxx